The Toy Box

A long time ago,

in a home far away,

in a place in my mind

where my memories stay;

lived a world no one knows

to this very day,

and I have to deal much

to keep it that way.

It starts with a toy box,

so innocently built,

to hide any worry,

to hide any guilt.

In this little toy box

I hid all my pain

forbidden to ever

show it again.

There's masks and pictures

all broken and bled.

There's soaked little tissues

with tears I have shed.

There's a journal

that found its way out of my box;

it gave me the power

to write out the talks.

There's sharp, pointy claws

that scratched at my arms.

There's beautiful monsters

that caused me much harm.

There's memories I cram

inside of this box,
that I can't even fathom
if they're true or they're false.

Inside my box,

a childhood does lie;

waiting to breathe,

but waiting to die.

For a whole 'nother childhood

soon waits for rebirth,

one I can thank

for my presence on Earth.

I'm sick of hiding,

of pretending to be

something I'm not.

God, set me free!

Open my box,

and let me speak.

Let everything

soak up in the sea

of my memories

so very repressed

that today have made me

very depressed.

Like he,

the lost and found

of my heart

should have told me my childhood

was too torn apart

to be put back together,

although not so bad

of a childhood;

but inside, I felt rather... sad. 

But now it is out there,

in the dusk of the dawn.

Now it is free.
Now it is gone.

But as I said,

I've kept it away,

and I do quite a lot

to keep it that way.

But now it is free

from its cell in my mind,

and maybe I'll leave

the sadness behind.

A new life begins

so I can be free

of my burdens and horrors

that used to be me.

©LJ

25 August & 31 August, 2014