And I Was Alone

But I did learn something.
Even lonely people
have moments
in which they're happy.
But that rarely comes
when you're lonely
because no one's around
to see your happy moments.
And you feel depressed
because you feel so lonely
that you convince yourself
that those who love you
don't really care.
You convince yourself so deeply,
that your tears burn
and the thought carves itself
into the very private parts
of your humdrum mind.
You find solace
in hugging a childhood toy,
and remembering what it was like
to not be alone,
to feel safe, secure,
and above all... loved.

And there we were,
suddenly holding each other..
our cries of reunion,
like the moans of ghosts;
finally in the peace
that denying, we had been.

©  LJ

19 September 2014

(this poem is part of a longer poem 

I used for my English 12 Poetry Slam 

in December 2014 titled I Let Him Go)